Rise And Grind - The Thurl Bailey Podcast

The Ultimate Comeback Story with Leigh Steinberg

• Thurl Bailey

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In this episode of Rise and Grind, host Thurl Bailey welcomes Leigh Steinberg, one of the most influential sports agents in the industry and author of the compelling new book, The Comeback. Leigh shares his transformative journey through addiction and recovery, providing a raw and honest look at the struggles that nearly derailed his life and career.

Join us as Leigh dives into the themes of resilience and redemption found in The Comeback, discussing how his experiences shaped his understanding of success and the challenges athletes face today. He offers valuable insights into the importance of mental health, the role of support systems, and the critical steps to reclaiming one’s life after setbacks. 

Leigh's unique perspective as a seasoned sports agent and advocate for change provides listeners with invaluable lessons on perseverance, integrity, and the pursuit of excellence. Whether you’re a fan of sports, in the recovery community, or seeking inspiration for your own comeback story, this episode is a must-listen. 

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments as we dive deep into Leigh Steinberg’s remarkable journey and the powerful message of The Comeback! 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Rise and Grind! If you enjoyed Thurl Bailey's inspiring basketball journey and insights, be sure to subscribe to the podcast for more powerful stories and motivational conversations. 

Help us spread the word by leaving a review and sharing this episode with friends and fellow basketball enthusiasts. Connect with us on social media to join the conversation and stay updated on future episodes. 

Remember, your journey might have its challenges, but with grit and determination, you can rise above and achieve your dreams. Keep grinding, and we'll see you next time!

SPEAKER_01

But life will invariably and inevitably set us back at some point. And the question is, how do you respond to it? Can you be resilient? Can you put together an intelligent game plan? Can you find a relationship with a higher power that can help you with her.

SPEAKER_02

But what we don't always talk about, at least not enough, is what happens when it all goes away. When the success is gone, when the identity you built disappears. When you're left trying to figure out who you are without it. Well, today's guest has lived that story at the highest level. Lee Steinberg is one of the most iconic sports agents of all time, representing Hall of Fame athletes, building a career that most people only dream about. And yes, serving as the real life inspiration behind the movie Jerry Maguire. And then he lost it. Addiction took him to a place where everything he built, his business, his reputation, his relationships was on the line. But folks, what makes his story powerful isn't just the fall, it's the comeback. His new book, The Comeback, a playbook for turning life's setbacks into victories, is about exactly that. The journey back, the work it takes to rebuild your life and what you discover about yourself along the way. This is what Rise and Grind is about. Not just the success, but the resilience. Lee? Welcome to the show, my friend.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you, Cyril.

SPEAKER_02

Well, first of all, I'm honored. I I went out uh to Audible a week or so ago and just fell right into your book. And I have to say right off the top that the foreword in that book by Troy Aikman is one of the most powerful that I have ever read on any book. It really talked about the true essence of who you are based on where you were and and based on where you are now. So congratulations to you on the new book. And and we're gonna keep this podcast really based around that because that is really what Rise and Grind, why I started Rise and Grind is about stories like yours. So I'm gonna start, I want to get this out of the way. First of all, being the inspiration, because most people know the movie, but they may not know the man behind it. And so being the inspiration for Jerry Maguire, how close did they actually get to who you were at that time of your life?

SPEAKER_01

Well, it's really not autobiographical. It's based on stories I told Cameron Crow, the writer director, and he followed me around in 1993. He went to the NFL League meetings, he came to draft day where True Bledsoe was the first player picked. He came to the press conference, he came to the Pro Scouting Day, he came to games, and I told him stories, lots and lots of stories. So I like the part of the movie that humanized sports agents, but I started kind of back in 1975 when there really wasn't sports representation, and uh build a practice based on the athlete's role model. So I asked them all to retrace their roots to the high school community, set up a scholarship fund or boys and girls club or work with the church, go to the campus and set up something that bonds you with the alums, and then set up a charitable foundation based on some cause. So that part of it gets into that mission statement and removal. And um, you know, here we are, 64 first round draft picks, and the very first pick in the draft, eight times and 12 players in all the pain, a lot of baseball, basketball. So I think it was reflective of the world, and large uh parts of it seemed to be based on stories I told them.

SPEAKER_02

Well, let's do this. Let's uh let's go back to the beginning. So at your peak, Lee, what what did the what does success mean to you at the top of your game?

SPEAKER_01

I was always about impact, and uh my dad had two core values. One was treasure relationships, especially family, and the second was making a meaningful difference in the world, healing pain, and helping people who couldn't help themselves. So I was always guided that way. It was never the economics, it was always could you mentor young men, could you stimulate the best in them? And together could you make a difference in the society? So the $1.3 billion that raised for charity, that to me is success. And being a good father and a good friend, that's success. The uh outward uh vesting of it is never was my motivation.

SPEAKER_02

So, how much of your identity at that time was tied to being Lee Steinberg, the agent?

SPEAKER_01

I always knew internally that newspaper clippings would fade, that uh fame would fade, that at the end of life you'd be left with if you had a spiritual relationship with the higher power, if you were a good father, a good friend to people who need friends, and uh and uh if if you looked out for other people, and that really was my identity.

SPEAKER_02

Did you ever feel like that at that point, at some point early in your career, you had arrived?

SPEAKER_01

The very first player I represented was Steve Barkowski in 1975, and he was the first pick overall in the drafts, and we got the largest rookie contract in NFL history. So, and we went back and I was stunned at the fact they had big lights in the sky at the Atlanta airport. They had a crowd pressing up against the police line, and I thought, oh my god, we're not in Berkeley anymore.

SPEAKER_02

That's awesome. Um so let's let's get to the the next part of your journey. When did you feel like things started to slip internally for you?

SPEAKER_01

There was a time uh in my late 50s uh where my two sons were diagnosed with thratinitis pigmentosa, which meant they were legally blind, and I felt powerless to protect them. My father died a long death of uh esophageal cancer, and I felt frustrated in helping him. And we had a beachside city in Newport Beach where it got high levels of molding it, which is toxic, and so we had to knock that house to the ground. I felt like I was failing, I was powerless, I couldn't protect my kids from going blind. It was grandiose thorough to think I could, but um the coalescence of all those things made me feel helpless, and I turned to the wrong thing, I turned to alcohol to sort of blot out the reality.

SPEAKER_02

In your book, there's a moment I read about where you're you're laying on your father's bed, and chronologically, this may have been during some of those times you just spoke about. But was there a moment, a particular moment, that you knew that something wasn't right?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I had to break denial, and because uh alcohol and your ditching tell you you don't have a problem. The world that keeps challenging you to stop has the problem. And so it was necessary for me to confront the fact that my brain had been rewired and it was no longer volitional to drink. It was uh the cravings were overwhelming. And so uh I finally got to the point where I'd shut down my condo, I'd shut down my business and given that to the other players. And I'm back at my parents' house at 61 ish full. And I'm sitting there thinking, you know what? You've lost any, I've lost any sense of proportionality because I'm not a starving peasant in Sudan. I'm not, I don't have last name Steinberg in Nazi Germany. Uh nothing's wrong with me health-wise, except whatever alcohol's done. And what excuse do I have not to live up to those two core values of treasuring relationships and making a difference in the world? Um and I saw some light at the end of the tunnel. I saw that I could escape this, and so I turned to a 12-step program with a unique fellowship and worked um the 12 steps, went into sober living, and said, you know, if nothing else in this world, if if I never re-enter the world of work, um I will be sober and I will be a good father. And that really was my comeback, maintaining sobriety for the last 16 years.

SPEAKER_02

Well you were very honest and open about it in your in your new book, The Comeback. Um may ask you though, Lee, what did what did Rock Bottom look like for you?

SPEAKER_01

Rock bottom was sitting on my deceased father's bed in my family home, had an elevated age, um having no practice, having no uh place to live, um, yeah, being uh economically challenged, and being alienated for one of my kids, the other two hung in there. And uh that was as bad as it got, but it was bad enough.

SPEAKER_02

Well, that was my next question I was gonna ask you. What did you lose during that time? And I think you just really answered that question.

SPEAKER_01

My practice, uh my condo, uh basically I you know I was down to to sitting on a park bench at in West Los Angeles, um, you know, drinking out of a paper bag.

SPEAKER_02

So there had to be a moment. Maybe it was something a conversation you had with yourself or someone had with you that this had to change. How did that be?

SPEAKER_01

So my brother Jim came and took me to sober living. And I lived in a house with with about 10 other gentlemen, and uh I lived there from March of 2010 to about December of 2010, and in that time put together a set of tools that could accelerate my recovery, and uh went to a load of meetings, went to got a sponsor, um, worked the 12 steps, put sobriety first, above everything, and focused on that.

SPEAKER_02

That feels like that was the day-to-day progress for you, and I'm sure that was I mean, that's that's a hard place to come back from for anybody. But what was harder? Was it building success the first time or rebuilding it?

SPEAKER_01

Rebuilding it because the first time I just fortuitously started at the top with the first tick in the draft. Uh, but I knew as I would come back that I had to be prepared. So, first of all, I waited three years and made sure that that I had a solid foundation in sobriety. Um, and then uh there were a number of people who were willing to fund me to go back into the representation business, but I needed to be brutally honest with myself about the fact that I'd face questions like from parents and younger players. Uh, how can you guarantee you'll stay sober? Which you can't. Right. You've been out of it for five or six years. Uh, you still have contacts and connections. You didn't do a very good job manage your own money, how can you manage ours? Well, we don't. We have financial planners who do that. But you had, I didn't have a divine right to represent athletes. They come to you because they have needs that you can potentially fulfill. And so um in 2016, I represented uh a first-round quarterback Pex Lynch, and that was sort of a signal that quarterback had been my heavy position. There were times in the 90s where I represented half the starting quarterback. So that got things going, and then the next year Patrick Mahomes came into the league, and uh by his second year was MVP of the league. And uh so that got all rebuilt. At the same time, we continued to do aging academies to teach a younger generation of sports professionals how to um uh aggregate the skills needed to be a success, how to recruit, how to negotiate, how to set up a charitable foundation. And uh and I continued my work on concussion, which is head injury, is inherent in all collision sports. And I had a Croatia's conscience back in the 80s because I kept representing players who got concussions and hit in the head, and we would go to doctors and ask how many is too many, and they had no answers. So um I continued to work in all those fields and put together a practice that was based on fundamental values, sense of self-respect, spiritual values, living in the a family where people care for each other, and I tried to profile athletes that were interested in retracing their roots and were self-starters.

SPEAKER_02

So your book gets into the subject of accountability and redefinition. Um how important was it for you to take full responsibility of where you were at that point in your career?

SPEAKER_01

It's like what lifetime would I be waiting for to understand that the reason I uh got drunk uh was had nothing to do with external people situations or anything. It was my responsibility um to um to behave in uh sober and mature fashion, and I needed to take ownership over every negative thing that had happened, and then I made a decision to be public about my recovery, so I was post 16 years on the sunny side of the street because I didn't I wanted to be helpful to other people who were struggling and out there in darkness and despondency, and I thought, well, if my story can help them, and that was the motivation for writing the book. If it inspires one person to uh have a quicker, more fundamental recovery from whatever ails of it could be financial uh uh collapse, it could be medical, it could be marital or relationship, or it could be, as in my case, substances. But life will invariably and inevitably set us back at some point. And the question is, how do you respond to it? Can you be resilient? Can you put together an intelligent game plan? Um, can you find a relationship with a higher power that can help you with it?

SPEAKER_02

Well, I think I know the answer to this question, but I wanted to hear it from you. What what matters more now, success or significance?

SPEAKER_01

Significance. Impact always mattered more to me. Can I use my practice to help athletes push back publicly against racism and domestic violence and bullying and the environment? And can we together make a difference? And with the athletes, can I help them on their health and wellness? Can I help them plan a second career? Can I deal with them holistically? The most important skill I think in Leistur is um listening. It's drawing out another human being, cutting below surface responses to understand someone else's deepest anxieties and fears and their greatest hopes and dreams. And if you can put yourself into the heart and mind of another human being and see the world the way they see it, you can gracefully navigate your way through all life's challenges.

SPEAKER_02

In your book, you talk about nine pillars. Um touch on some of those. They're all important, but touch on some that our listeners who are obviously everyone is going through something. Uh, talk about some of those pillars and and the importance.

SPEAKER_01

So I think the first thing is to be introspective and to understand exactly what your own goals and priorities are. Is it short-term economic gain? Is it long-term economic security? Is it spiritual? Is it family, geography, profile making a difference in the world, the corner office? And you have the clear sense of where you are at this specific time. And those things change over time, and those uh priorities may adjust. So you need to do a brutal uh inventory. Then you need to break denial about what your situation is and to honestly uh face it. Then you need to have resilience, the ability to come back and vision the ability to to, and then you need to set up a routine that you follow that uh leads you in a positive direction.

SPEAKER_02

Well, when we come back, um we will continue our conversation with Lee Steinberg and talk a little bit more about his book, The Comeback. So stay with us. We'll be right back with Rise and Grime. Hey guys, time out. You know, you give your best to your work, your family, and your responsibilities. But to keep showing up strong, you've got to stay down there. At Game Day Men's Health, the nation's leading men's clinic, they help you get back in the game with a custom game plan built around your labs, your goals, and your performance. Testosterone, peptides, real optimization. Come in today for a free testosterone test and consult. Tell them big teeth pinches, and you'll get 50% off your first year membership. Game Daymenshealth.com. Victory starts within. Welcome back to Rise and Grind. We are talking today in this episode to Lee Steinberg, one of the foremost agents of our generation. His new book, The Comeback, a playbook for turning life's setbacks into victories. He is forthcoming and open about having everything, having built his businesses and losing it all through addiction, but getting it all back and then more. Lee, what what would you say to someone and I'm sure they're listening to this, what would you say to someone who is stuck right now in their life? And it could be addiction, it could be other things. I think you've touched on a little bit of this as well. But you're talking to that person sitting in front of you. What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01

Well, I first understand what their goals are in life. In other words, what represents fulfillment and success to them. So you have a clear picture. And many times people are not really self-aware and um get confused. And so I'd like to have clarity as to what that person's ultimate goals and aspirations are, and then be honest, brutally honest, in terms of confronting them. Oh, I've got this to do, that to do, everything to do, and then they sort of shift down. And my advice is make a list of every single thing that you feel like you need to um accomplish and prioritize it. And instead of looking at the whole and being overwhelmed, focus on doing the first thing first and then the next thing. Don't focus on the ultimate result, just focus on the steps. And I tell athletes, stay in process. Do those things in practice and preparation and performance that are necessary without obsessing on the ultimate result. Just stay in the moment and stay in process. And then let's put together a game plan that's got the best chance of getting you back. So if it's financial, let's make a list of all your debts, everything you owe, all the pressures, and instead of having that come in as a frightening and incohate anxiety-producing event, let's just put them down on a piece of paper and figure it out. And then step by step figure out who can help in this? Where can you get outside assistance? Do you need therapy? Do you need addiction help? Do you need a tax? Do you need a marriage counselor? Who can be helpful in this situation? And how can you you we get so caught up day-to-day in what we're doing that it never gives time to sit back and think about the structure and whether or not it's leading you in the right direction. In other words, we handle emergencies at work, we handle whatever's and you can go months without ever rethinking the entire structure of your life and whether or not you're headed in the right direction.

SPEAKER_02

So Lee, you have seen the evolution of sports. You're so eclectic as an agent. You represent at least from all backgrounds, all sports. What is one of the or several of the biggest differences as you've seen the game change, you've seen the business change? Um, the biggest difference from when you first started to now when you represent a player. I know some things probably um as it pertains to the human side of things, maybe still the same, but what do you see different now in this generation of athletes in sports?

SPEAKER_01

So this generation grows up on computers, video games. They take their information not from a newspaper, from something they read off their phone or off a computer screen. And so the whole way in which information is transferred is different and it attenuates attention span. So the athlete that I used to spend an hour and a half talking to, now I get 15 minutes, maybe. Um so you got that. Then the economics have completely changed. The um salary cap in football went up to $300 million, which reflects hundreds of millions of dollars in potential contracts. That was $200 million a couple of years ago. Um, teams that made $2 million as their share of the national TV contract in 1975 now make $300 million. And you have fantasy sports and and stadia with naming rights and the rest of it. Um and but the three biggest changes that have happened to college sports are NIO, which is the ability of a young man to or woman to do marketing from high school on. Um, gambling, which is now possible the place of bet at the Commander Stadium or in Chicago where the Bulls play, um, and is an existential threat. All it will take is one athlete to shave performance interacting with a gambler, or to give inside information on what are called prop pets. And you you've got people questioning the integrity of the sport, and then it becomes wrestling. Conference realignment in college was another big shift, and this is all happening together. And uh the whole concept of amateurism, the whole concept of waiting until you become a pro out the window. Now the uh best quarterback in last year's draft um committed to LSU, and they guaranteed him $4 million in NILs. A Michigan alum came along, and before he ever played it down at LSU, he gave him $14 million and he tracked for Michigan. So this is if Hurt Van Winkle had gone to sleep five years ago and awoken today, he'd be in culture shock.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, he would. Well, I could have used that in '83 when we won the national championship at NC State under Jimmy V, but you know, we we did get a ring out of it.

SPEAKER_01

If you had if you had said you were contemplating coming out earlier staying in school, that it offered you ten million dollars.

SPEAKER_02

That's right. So with that though, Lee, um, you talk about the evolution of sports and the business side, and your book really talks about your evolution, your journey. Have you had to change the way you do business? Have you had to, you know, uh there's certain things I would guess about you that you would still use that you used in the past, but how have you had to, as a person, change or not change according to what's happening in the sports world?

SPEAKER_01

So I'm not sure I would have done this career if NL had been around 52 years ago. Um, because it takes a sophisticated family and a player to agree to work with an agent who requires of them that they retrace their roots in their own time in their own way, who talks about health and safety, embraces the denial that athletes have over their physical health. So now instead of being 21 or 22, that athlete is making his representation decision at 16 or 6. And so that's way too early in the process for me to be excited about representing uh uh an athlete. So um, you know, it I still have about 15 football players that I represent, but in terms of seeking out new ones, I'm not sure about that.

SPEAKER_02

And obviously, you have you have a criteria for who you will represent. Um, how do you go through that selection process?

SPEAKER_01

Research. You search if I can find that um this young man went to a mission to Haiti, that he works with inner city kids. Um, if I can read an interview where he's articulate and grounded, if I can do a see that he comes from a family, even if it's not two parents, that is nurturing and um you try to research those things. What I'm looking for in athletic performance is this what does that athlete do in adversity? You've uh uh you know you're you're shooting 25% and the game's getting out of hand. Um, you're throwing three interceptions, and the crowd is booing, the center's looking at you like you're on hallucinogens, the game is getting away. What do you do now? In critical game situations, can you compartmentalize, adopt the quiet mind, wipe out memory-wise, the reverses that have happened, and elevate your level of play in critical situations to take a team two and through victory. You look for that quality because um it's easy to perform when things are going well. It's tougher when you're short one.

SPEAKER_02

Well, you look for those qualities, Lee, because you live you've lived it. So listening to your story, this really is exactly why I do this show. Because success is great, but resilience is everything. And anybody can celebrate, as you just mentioned, when you're winning. But when things fall apart, when you're at your lowest, that's when you find out who you really are. Most importantly, whether you're willing to put the work in to come back. And so your story is a reminder that it's never too late to rebuild, it's never too late to take ownership, to change directions, to fight your way back to purpose. And for anybody listening right now who feels like they're in that pit, you're not done. And Zoli, I I really appreciate your honesty, your vulnerability, uh, and the example that you're you're setting. Where can people find the come back and and stay connected with you?

SPEAKER_01

Well, not at a bookstore. You can certainly find it on Barnes and Noble or Amazon.com. And there's an audio book, too, which this which this squeaky voice didn't read, but I was looking for James Earl Jones or Morgan Freak. Uh but uh they weren't available. But uh anyway, it's a it's a good hear, and uh uh and then you can find us at steinbergspeaks.com.

SPEAKER_02

You're incredible, my man. I I had an opportunity years and years and years ago to meet you at an event.

SPEAKER_01

Isn't there beating the odds?

SPEAKER_02

Yes, it sure was. Um and yeah, I was fanboying and I they didn't have that word back then, but I knew I knew who you were, and it's just an honor to meet you. And you were at the top of your game then, but I'm really glad I've had the opportunity to catch up with you. Came through Salt Lake City a few years ago, and we got reconnected. Um, but I'm truly honored. I know our listeners will be edified. And so thank you so much for for sharing here on Rise and Grind. And and the best best of everything to you, and God bless you.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you, and good luck with Rise You Grind.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you, Lee. Thank you guys for listening uh to this episode of Rise and Grind. We hope that you uh go on and like like the series or give us your comments about what you thought. We welcome them. If you're facing struggles, hopefully you've learned. Don't try to do it alone. So thank you for joining and watching Rise and Run, and we'll see you next time.